He is good

Things have been a little crazy around here of late. Ever since Scott came home from Korea, work has been chaotic and he's been coming home most often at least an hour late. There are a lot of little things (little, but important things) that he needs to get done, but hasn't been able to because of his work environment. Not only that, but the car we just bought already broke down, and Scott has tried so hard to fix it, but it refuses to run, and our good car has a leak in one of the tires. We've already canceled the trip to Chicken, although we may still go camp maybe one night at a campground close to us. I've been feeling very frustrated at all this. I don't want to use this blog to complain about problems which is why I didn't post this before, but I had a revelation just now that I felt must be shared.

Could it be that God is trying to tell me something through these frustrations? I feel so helpless right now. I can't do the things that need to get done, I can't even do things that I need to get done (like grocery shopping...food is getting rather scarce in this household). God I believe just showed me that I need to learn to rely on HIM. It's amazing how easy it is to forget. We get so wrapped up in our lives, and take for granted all the many blessings He's given us, and feel like we always have to have it all together. I struggle a lot with wanting everything to be perfect and trying to achieve that. But it suddenly occurred to me as I was washing the dishes that above all, I need to be relying on God. I can do nothing apart from Him. My spiritual walk hasn't been the greatest lately, I've been reading my Bible and reading a book that is slowly helping me get rid of some confusion I've had, but I'm not to a point yet where I am completely on fire for God and think about Him all the time. I want very much to have that and yet I want my own life to be impeccable. I am certain now that I can't have both. And I think I can be content with that.

Father, forgive me for not relying on You as I should.

Praise God for trials and for His goodness!